The generally hilarious Charlie Brooker has formulated the perfect ‘generic news report’

I laughed and laughed.

I found this to be quite sad.

Many thanks to Mr BBC for the video.

This video from the BBC’s comedy program ‘That Mitchell and Webb Look’ gives a good view of how advertising works.

I was amused by the stupidity of dogs.

… But he is not as appreciative as a Slow Loris, it seems.

That is one happy-looking animal.

I've ordered myself a couple of DVDs of the animation Pocoyo; we are told they are great for toddlers. My only experience of Pocoyo is an episode on YouTube, which I include below. I was amused enough to spend a few pounds on the DVDs.

For those of you who come here via my minimalist homepage you may have noticed a new link up there. In 2001 I was interviewed for a television program called Luv Bytes that was going to appear on Channel 4 and E4 over here. They gave me a tape of the full program and last night I finally managed to convert it to a digital format. I've put a clip up on the new page. I have never met anyone who has watched it, so I cannot say I gathered fame and glory from appearing on television.

We got our new huge television just before we went on holiday. Today the HD satellite box was installed and I can finally see what the fuss about HDTV is all about. I must say I am impressed, it looks so much better than regular television.

Our television went tits up last week; it has been somewhat vexing not to be able to watch the box. This is now all behind me as this huge beast has just been delivered:

It is a 42-inch wide screen HD-TV. Shame we have to wait two weeks to get our HD subscription active.

Today I've been watching the 'higher number' channels provided by Sky. It appears the higher the numbers get from the low hundreds the more appalling the channel is. The channel I was watching only seemed to have adverts for cheaper car insurance (how can they all be cheaper?) and predatory law firms who'll pursue your accident compensation claim. These adverts I hate. It is not that I have too much against people taking out such law suits, it is more that the adverts always seem to include a re-enactment of the injury. Some of these are quite realistic and they deeply un-nerve me. I'm not terribly squeamish, but I really don't want to see someone getting their hand crushed when they fall off a ladder. Oooooohhhh... it makes me feel all queer.

I am an atheist so have been slightly appalled that the government here is increasing the number of single faith schools around the country. Oddly, the government has just started a consultation exercise to try and find what can be done to ease divisions in society and yet the people writing the report have been forbidden to look at single faith schools. This seems odd because teaching children in single faith groups is hardly going to teach them to be more understanding of other ideologies.

So enthused with atheism am I that I am a member of the National Secular Society which has been campaigning to reduce religious privilege since the 1860s (if memory serves).

I doubt religious schools here have got this bad, but I was sickened to watch that video.

The latest thing that has been getting on my tits is an advert for Kodak Picture Kiosks. You can view it online at this site. I don't really mind the advert, but what is mind-destroyingly irritating is the way the small boy says "Thanks!" at the end of the advert. This advert seemed to be showing in every advertisement break during the cricket and it made my blood boil.

There is some new music on Sky's television guide; it terrifies me.

Obviously on a hot day like today I am only wearing a nappy, sitting in front of the fan and attempting to relax so as to minimise my body temperature. I'm pretty relaxed. I think, "Oh, I'll have a look what is on the other channels." I press the TV guide button and suddenly there is a blood-curdling, operatic, choral, organ-powered death hymn. When that evil terror blares out at me I am glad I wear nappies.

Earlier this evening I went to the cinema with my partner to watch Curious George. It was remarkably good for a young children's film, far less banal than the last one I watched (The Magic Roundabout). George was very cute, and I quite liked the yellow hat.

You may recall my confusion regarding that I sleep in a cot rather than a crib. I also had a theory about what a crib usually is. Well, as I am a toddler I am only really up late when I have tin drums to bang or building bricks to drop from the balcony; however, I did witness something that backed-up how I understood the use of the word crib as and how it differs to the cot I sleep in. This is demonstrated in this 4Mb .wmv format video here. Yes, it is quite immature, but a lot of fun.

This is the advertising slogan of my old college; I haven't visited there in years...

However, that this idea may have been swimming around in my psyche at some point might have something to do with my love for the now-defunct genre of films the Ealing comedies. Made at Ealing Studios in the middle of the last century these are very gentle comedies of manners. Invariably the plot runs something like this: Basically good pub-landlord/thief/textile-chemist/cinema-doorman/assassin/honest, normal-type-person tries to achieve something with the best possible intentions but ends up in a frightful pickle and gets terribly flustered. The occasionally-good Cohen brothers recently made a passable facsimile of the Ealing comedy The Ladykillers.

Perhaps it will be of no surprise that my favourite of the Ealing comedies is a charming little number called The School for Scoundrels, which is all about making sure other people end up in a frightful pickle and get terribly flustered. This film is based upon the book Potter on Lifemanship, a little book that purports filled with notes on Lifemanship-skills research; skills that allow one to exploit subtle weaknesses in the behaviour or desire to stick to social rules that others display, and so allowing one's self to be one up on them. It is quite amusing, in a more-than-fifty-years-old sort of way. I recently got a first edition, first impression of it for the princely sum of three English pounds from this fine source of second hand books. They are well worth checking out for all sorts of things.

Of the many things that amused me (including passing your opponent in golf balls made from lead) the note by A. le Maitre on Homeric gamesmanship seemed like a fair observation of how and why certain groups of people have thought it reasonable to behave throughout history:
It is true that the Gamesman always sticks to the rules, but rules become unnecessary if the gods are on your side.

Sadly, many people still think this is justification for behaving terribly badly even though there have never been any gods to be on their side.

I do wonder if you, dear reader, have pondered upon the link between my moniker and the film 'Sideways'. I am afraid to say I was not enamoured with that film.

A frien... no... an associa... no... someone I know was terribly keen for me to watch it, suggesting the wine-buffoonery and Pinot-loving rants might in some way unsettle me. That night I sallied forth to the motion-picture house and sat through the film. The assessment emailed to my acquaintance upon my return read as follows:

As I have mentioned in the past, I am off to a Lemon Jelly concert. It is happening tonight. As you are probably unaware, Lemon Jelly produced a rather jolly ditty called 'Nice weather for ducks'; I feel this leaves me little option but to wear this to the concert:

You may note I am picking up Fluffy Bat with a reasonable degree of enthusiasm. This is not because I dropped him, but rather because he jumped out of my hands. Clearly, toddlers would never dream of carelessly discarding their security objects, unless they get distracted, but sometimes when it is pointed out that they appear to have been thoughtlessly cast-aside it must be explained that it was the teddy bear/blanket/bat's own fault they are on the floor. This may be because we toddlers do not wish to appear ungrateful for the hard work our security objects put in, or it may be because animals leaping around is just completely hilarious. This can be demonstrated by a very short clip from a popular British comedy program of the 1970s, The Goodies. I am told it is a .wmv file for reasons of space rather than to exclude people with minority operating systems.